Simple Simon

Simple Simon Restaurant, Bar and Guest House - Pattaya, Thailand

Soi 5

Quantity: 8
Quality: 8
Value: 9
Atmosphere: 8

WHEN you’re hungry, a plate of noodles just doesn’t do it.

You need a cholesterol, carbohydrate, calorie-busting plate of food that the likes of Thai food can’t provide. The answer to such hunger pangs can be found at Simple Simon’s.

As the name suggests, the layout is unfettered and, in line with the nursery rhyme, its pies are rather special.

The menu is nearly all English-based, and includes roast beef (190 baht), roast lamb (250) or pork (185).

The place has an open frontage, with two large wooden tables and chairs out on the pavement. Up a step and inside, the light blue walls give a fresh feel to the place. A sofa sits in one corner with magazines in a rack nearby.

I went for the standard breakfast at 120 baht, which consists of two sausages, two slices of bacon, two tomatoes, two eggs, two pieces of toast, and unlimited tea or coffee.

My partner opted for steak and kidney pie (165 baht, as are all the pies).

Service wasn’t quite instant but then the food was freshly-cooked, and there was plenty of it.

My breakfast hit the spot thanks to some traditional pork sausages, some proper bacon (the stringy, fatty stuff you get from the supermarkets doesn’t count), and the tomatoes were ok, albeit of the tinned variety. The pie was equally good and came with so many chips the waitress had trouble containing them all on one plate.

If the standard breakfast doesn’t suit, and the ‘superman’ breakfast (read super-fat) is too much, then you can pick and choose from several items, including black pudding.

Other options include fish and chips (190 baht), pork chops, chicken curry, burgers, steaks, pies, and ample desserts. Or if you want to take your meal away, a well-stocked fridge has Cumberland sausages, scotch eggs, and more home-grown tempters.